Single White Female, Looking For That Perfect Lover...

There's a country song by Chely Wright that about sums it up. ->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krzCeKZxfQ8

Or, if you are missing someone, I suggest this song by Darryl Worley. ->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OOFN1z45CI&feature=channel

Anyway. I realized that I'm contradicting myself a lot lately. I rag on people who get married and have kids... but really, I do want that. Just not quite yet. Give me a couple more years. :)

Looking out the window tonight, I keep thinking that my love life is kind of like the seasons. It's great for a while, not so good, completely sucky, not too bad, then back to great. Sort of like the excitement and joy of a white winter, I love it while it's here, complain when it's gone, but I always know it'll come back. Stupid analogy, but at 1:00 am anything makes sense. Although, I'm not so sure that analogy will work so well once I really fall and stay in love... maybe that's like moving to the Yukon? I dunno.

Anyway, it's Christmas! I'm so excited. I thought I'd be asleep by now, but alas, I can't sleep.
I finally feel like my mom, Lynn, Heather, Chase, and I are a family now. It's an incredible feeling that hit me tonight. I'm afraid that if I go to sleep, the feeling will pass. I've never been so... satisfied... with my family situation as I am right now. I'm trying to find the depressed, cynical side of me, and I can't find her. She's gone, maybe for a few hours, maybe for a few days, maybe longer. But I love it. I don't miss her. She was always such a downer. :)

This year will be the first year in four years (yes, FOUR years!) that I don't have definite New Year's Eve plans, or a definite kiss-at-midnight partner. Rather than feeling depressed and sad about it, I'm pretty excited. I could drop in on any party I wanted and have a blast without worrying about pissing off my boyfriend with my incessant flirting. I have some friends who are visiting from out of town, so maybe I'll spend it with them. Or maybe I'll go to Roosevelt to see my sisters and brother. Or maybe, just maybe, I'll stay home with my mom and step-dad, watch the ball drop from the comfort of my living room, and soak up the family warmth. Who really know? Okay, truth be told, it would be AWESOME to hook up with someone right before New Year's Eve, and have like the "first kiss" at midnight, but my life is soooooo not a teen movie, so it's not happening. Besides, unless it could go somewhere eventually, I think I should lay off the kissing. It gets me into trouble. hahaha...

Merry Christmas, everyone! I'll post something new in the next couple of days.