Too Bad The Future Of Humanity Depends On It...

Dating completely sucks.
Especially when almost all the dates are blind.

I finally figured out why these guys I meet up in Logan or randomly through other people don't ask me out. I immediately put myself into sister/cool cousin mode so that I don't have to worry about flirting, making them 'want' me, or otherwise risking any sort of rejection. I become really good friends with people before they have a chance to decide if I'm dating material. Then, in their mind, I am at sister status. Sister status is great - unless you're looking to really start finding someone. But doing this to myself has become a habit. Rather than risk rejection, I pose myself as best friend with cool interests that aren't befitting a future girlfriend (i.e. hunting, snowboarding, heavy metal music, pranking).
A great example of this is the other night. I went to hang out with an old band buddy of mine, met one of his friends, immediately turned sister on him, and now we're really good friends. I sorta like him, which is the funny thing. I mean, it wouldn't have worked anyway because he has a girlfriend (why does that keep happening?)
Another example, with the aforementioned boy (see November posts), I have put myself on best friend status. Rather than risking getting too attached, I fell back (after I completely pissed him off because I got all girly and confronted him) and have completely distanced myself. Well, not completely. I still text him and talk to him. I'm slowly becoming more of a best friend or sister, and I'm okay with that. Mostly. The other part of me keeps saying "no no no! go for him still, don't back off!" But how do I compete with a semi-girlfriend who waited for him? I guess I don't. And when I tried to, it bit me in the butt.
So there we go. I will probably never be in another serious relationship, and I will probably never get married. I'm always going to be peoples' best friend or sister. Hm...
Oh, and the reason I wrote all of this is because I have another blind date tomorrow night. He's 23, a biological engineering major, and very cute. My problem is that I know I won't let myself like him. Last time I let myself fall, nothing caught me. I have some major issues. hahaha...
Do they have medication for this?
Mmm...
I think I want chocolate right now.